After reading this story online "Hospital takes Baby from Deaf Parents", it made me think back to when I was a new mother.
I had read similar stories of various parents, either Deaf or Blind, that had their babies taken away from them because the doctors, or child services, didn't think they were capable. The children were later returned after a review, but the damage was already done.
I started making absolutely sure that my baby son was clean, had matching clothes, had enough clothes and supplies and all the other obsessive mothering you can think of before we left the house. I was not taking any chances!
At baby checkups at the Doctor's, she'd say my son was above average for growth and weight and was really healthy. I'd get copies of the growth percentile chart to keep as proof just in case.
One morning we were heading somewhere, Randy had the baby carrier and I noticed the baby had mismatched socks. I lost it, I threw a hissy fit in the truck and kept telling Randy "No, it's gotta match, they'll look at me now". Randy as his usual calm, patient self, calmed me down and said "Just blame it on the stupid husband".
By the time baby number two (and the last one, thankyouverymuch) came along this fear faded away into the background. Until one late winter I decided to take the kids to the indoor playdium. I checked the weather and saw that it was only going to be in the 60s, and dressed the kiddies up in their snow jackets and hats and off we marched to the bus stop. I don't know why I didn't take the stroller and this was before I was using my cane. The bus stop is about 2 to 3 blocks from the house, and we didn't have any trouble getting there or to the playdium. Unbeknownst to me, it started to get colder and snowy during our time inside. After getting off the bus and trying to trudge home in the new snow with a 1 & 3 year old and a diaper bag, the kids were starting to fuss and whine. I picked up the youngest and encouraged the oldest to keep up. We were half way home when a car pulled over and a woman called us to get in. I said we were almost home but she insisted and with 2 whiny kids I figured sure why not. Well after telling her the directions and hugging my kids in the front seat, the driver proceeded to shame me for having the kids out in this kind of weather. I tried to explain that it wasn't like this when we left, but it was no use. I politely thanked her for the short ride and briskly took the kids into the house.
Then the fear came rushing back, "She knows where I live now", "She'll call Child Services now", by the time Randy came home I was in tears and almost a full blown panic attack. I calmed down enough to tell him the whole story. He just rolled his eyes and said "She probably has never had children, and even then she had no right to say that to you". Later I learned that both my Mother and my Mother-In-Law had people do that to them, it's a common occurrence for parents and really didn't have anything to do with me being Deaf or Blind. Well that eased my mind.
Now that my kids are 15 and almost 13, if someone said that to me now I'd just reply "How the hell do you think they've survived this long?"
Tracy
I had read similar stories of various parents, either Deaf or Blind, that had their babies taken away from them because the doctors, or child services, didn't think they were capable. The children were later returned after a review, but the damage was already done.
I started making absolutely sure that my baby son was clean, had matching clothes, had enough clothes and supplies and all the other obsessive mothering you can think of before we left the house. I was not taking any chances!
At baby checkups at the Doctor's, she'd say my son was above average for growth and weight and was really healthy. I'd get copies of the growth percentile chart to keep as proof just in case.
One morning we were heading somewhere, Randy had the baby carrier and I noticed the baby had mismatched socks. I lost it, I threw a hissy fit in the truck and kept telling Randy "No, it's gotta match, they'll look at me now". Randy as his usual calm, patient self, calmed me down and said "Just blame it on the stupid husband".
By the time baby number two (and the last one, thankyouverymuch) came along this fear faded away into the background. Until one late winter I decided to take the kids to the indoor playdium. I checked the weather and saw that it was only going to be in the 60s, and dressed the kiddies up in their snow jackets and hats and off we marched to the bus stop. I don't know why I didn't take the stroller and this was before I was using my cane. The bus stop is about 2 to 3 blocks from the house, and we didn't have any trouble getting there or to the playdium. Unbeknownst to me, it started to get colder and snowy during our time inside. After getting off the bus and trying to trudge home in the new snow with a 1 & 3 year old and a diaper bag, the kids were starting to fuss and whine. I picked up the youngest and encouraged the oldest to keep up. We were half way home when a car pulled over and a woman called us to get in. I said we were almost home but she insisted and with 2 whiny kids I figured sure why not. Well after telling her the directions and hugging my kids in the front seat, the driver proceeded to shame me for having the kids out in this kind of weather. I tried to explain that it wasn't like this when we left, but it was no use. I politely thanked her for the short ride and briskly took the kids into the house.
Then the fear came rushing back, "She knows where I live now", "She'll call Child Services now", by the time Randy came home I was in tears and almost a full blown panic attack. I calmed down enough to tell him the whole story. He just rolled his eyes and said "She probably has never had children, and even then she had no right to say that to you". Later I learned that both my Mother and my Mother-In-Law had people do that to them, it's a common occurrence for parents and really didn't have anything to do with me being Deaf or Blind. Well that eased my mind.
Now that my kids are 15 and almost 13, if someone said that to me now I'd just reply "How the hell do you think they've survived this long?"
Tracy
RSS Feed