My Response to Lisa Goldstein's Article

5/26/2016

I saw an article a friend shared on Facebook:

"Nyle DiMarco’s Activism Is Dangerous For The Deaf Community"

This author is deaf in a hearing family and was mainstreamed in public school and can speak "the predominant language of this country". Well y'all know that's my upbringing too, I'm the only deaf (or deafblind if you want to get specific) in my family, I grew up oral and mainstreamed and didn't learn ASL until I was 12 years old. (You can read my Letter to Parents of Deaf Children for more details.)

This article irked me in so many ways...

Let me break it down into bits to respond to:

Someone who only uses ASL, like Nyle, can’t interact with society without help from others.

Whoa! Really? Are we that dysfunctional? There are other means of communication, pen and paper, texting, snapping a picture of the menu and showing the server, and so on and on. I know plenty of Deaf people who use ASL that can speak, but prefer not to.

I’m reminded of my deafness every second of every day.

Really? Because I don't give my Deafness a second thought. Like you said, "my deafness is one part of who I am", my deafblindness is a part of who I am, but I don't dwell on it and I'm not "reminded" of it. Sure I struggle to understand and lipread or interact with the hearing world, but I don't go "oh gee I'm deaf", "it's so hard being deaf", or "I wish I was hearing".

Deaf Culture extremists will respond to this essay in full force; they’re well-known for their intimidation and manipulation tactics

I could say the same for the Alexander Graham Bell Foundation and it's members, which by the way, Ms. Goldstein is a Board Member of AGB. So I can pretty much state her views are biased and in support of her organization. I've heard countless stories of intimidation and manipulation by AGB on Deaf families and individuals and they're not open-minded as they state they are. (Again read my Letter for more details).

We're deaf in different ways, and that should be Ok

Yes we are, there's the deaf (small d) and the Deaf (Capital D). Oral deaf vs. ASL Deaf. We've been at odds for a very long time and probably won't end any time soon.

Yet Ms. Goldstein doesn't want to celebrate the Deaf difference and instead belittle Nyle's accomplishment, just like her organization AGB has done all along.

Yet, despite him saying he wants to use his celebrity for good, he’s dividing instead of bridging

Have you not seen the celebrations around the world? The Deaf community and even the deaf community (those not part of AGB mind you) have been cheering for Nyle for a long time now.

We, Deaf, will not hide in the shadows anymore and are proud, damn proud of Nyle DiMarco. We are showing the general public (aka the hearing world), that the Deaf can do whatever we want!

6 Comments

Loretta

5/26/2016 07:00:56 pm

Well said!!!

Brenda Tress

5/26/2016 09:30:26 pm

Congrats to Neil Maes, a deaf 11 year old boy making it to the National Spelling Bee competition in Washington DC.

He has bilateral cochlear implants and uses LST.

Compare the celebrations between Nyle and Neil on news. Be sure to watch video in its entirety and it has CC. Also note how Mother speaks for his son 95% of the time and claims he's "shy". Also note how they direct their celebration into medical discussion And demonstrating his cochlear implant. I get this nauseous sense that they are celebrating his hearing, and not for him for who he is as a person. After the interview I still do not know who he is, what his dreams are etc.

Also, in the next link below, see group photo, and it's amazing that they include his medical doctor. http://www.georgetowner.com/…/born-deaf-11-year-old-arrive…/. So they consider his CI Doctor part of the family.

kim grievson

5/27/2016 08:39:33 am

"Deaf Culture Extremists" having our say:
a rebuttal to Lisa Goldstein's negative framing of Nyle DiMarco

Lisa Goldstein posted her essay, "Nyle DiMarco's Activism Is Dangerous For the Deaf Community," in The Establishment on May 26 ( http://www.theestablishment.co/2016/05/26/nyle-dimarcos-activism-is-dangerous-for-the-deaf-community/). Her comments are in plain text; my responses are in CAPITAL LETTER.

Can you believe a deaf person won Dancing with the Stars? Nyle DiMarco took home the coveted mirror ball trophy—without even hearing the music!
YES, I CAN. WHY NOT? DEAF PEOPLE HAVE PERFORMED IN MOVIES, THEY HAVE PERFORMED IN BROADWAY PLAYS AND MUSICALS. THEY CAN DRIVE. THEY CAN DO SO MUCH MORE. THEY EVEN CAN HAVE SEX!
Would your reaction change if you knew that Nyle could have heard the music if he wanted to? He has said he never wanted to hear, so he chooses not to wear hearing aids. That’s his prerogative—he’s opting to live in silence, which is something many people may not realize.
BE THANKFUL FOR HIS CHOICE THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR BECAUSE THIS WORLD WOULD BE SO BORED IF HE CHOOSES TO HEAR JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!
WHY WOULD WE WANT TO HAVE A DIFFERENT REACTION IF NYLE COULD HAVE HEARD THE MUSIC IF HE'D WANTED TO? WE ALREADY HAVE SO MANY HEARING PEOPLE DANCING, AND IT'S AWSOME TO WATCH A DEAF PERSON DANCING WITHOUT HEARING THE MUSIC. IT IS REALLY AWESOME NOT TO BE BORED!
And of course, that choice makes for more dramatic television, which garners higher ratings. During one routine, for example, DWTS turned off the music so the audience could feel what it was like for Nyle. The finale dance was to “Sound of Silence.”
IT WAS A MIND-BLOWING FOR THE AUDIENCE TO GET THE FEELING OF WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DANCE WITHOUT SOUND BECAUSE THEY CANNOT COMPREHEND IT!
It’s also more dramatic when a deaf person communicates via American Sign Language (ASL), a visual language that relies in large part on facial expressions. A deaf person who communicates by speaking and reading lips, by comparison, just isn’t as different or exciting when it comes to media.
YOU CANNOT COMPARE SPEAKING AND SPEECHREADING ("READING LIPS") TO ASL. ASL IS A RICH, SUBTLE, VISUAL-TACTILE-KINETIC LANGUAGE, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE OF ALL, AND THERE ARE SO MANY HEARING PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO HAVE NEVER SEEN IT. ALSO, YOU SEEM TO FORGET THAT THE DEAF COMMUNITY IS RELATIVELY SMALL IN NUMBERS, AND OF COURSE, PEOPLE UNFAMILIAR WITH IT ARE AMAZED BY SEEING A REAL DEAF PERSON WITH ASL. SEEING A REAL DEAF PERSON FLUENT IN ASL IS LIKE SEEING A REAL LIVE INDIAN WEARING AN INDIAN HEADDRESS AND DEERSKIN CLOTHING WALKING DOWN THE STREET: IT'S RARE, IT'S EXOTIC, IT'S SUCH A BIG NOVELTY, EH?
As a winner of two reality television shows (he also won America’s Next Top Model), Nyle is using his newfound fame to push an ASL platform. But in the process, he’s making inaccurate—and inflammatory—statements. More than anything, I fear that such statements will mislead parents of young deaf kids.
EXCUSE ME! WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHTS TO ACCUSE NYLE OF MAKING "INACCURATE AND INFLAMMATORY STATEMENTS"? HE HAS NEVER SAID ANYTHING HORRIBLE ABOUT DEAF CHILDREN LIKE YOU AND ME, WHO GREW UP SPEAKING AND READING LIPS. HE ONLY ENCOURAGES DEAF CHILDREN TO HAVE FULL ACCESS TO ASL BECAUSE IT IS A FACT THAT DEAF CHILDREN WHO HAVE NOT DEVELOPED A LANGUAGE AT A VERY EARLY AGE STRUGGLE IN SCHOOL. THEY HAVE LANGUAGE DEFICITS. THEY HAVE ACADEMIC DEFICITS. AND THEY HAVE SOCIAL DEFICITS. MANY HEARING PARENTS HAVE GOTTEN THE INFORMATION FROM THOSE SO-CALLED EXPERTS THAT DEAF CHILDREN WOULD SUFFER A LOT MORE BY LEARNING ASL AND CAN ONLY SUCCEED BY RELYING ON SPEAKING AND READING LIPS. THAT IS A FLAT-OUT LIE!
More than 25 people in Nyle’s family are deaf. He went to a school for deaf children and communicates using ASL. He says that if he had been born into a hearing family and attended a public school, “I would have probably felt much more isolated, and being deaf would have become my identity.” He adds that he’s known his deaf identity since birth. These extreme views on deafness are common within the Deaf Culture community.
THAT'S TRUE FOR MANY OF US BECAUSE WE HAVE SHARED SO MANY STORIES IN #AGB LIES AND NUMEROUS OTHER FACEBOOK GROUPS AND PAGES. NYLE GREW UP HEARING THE STORIES FROM HIS DEAF PARENTS AND DEAF GRANDPARENTS. AND WHAT WERE THOSE STORIES ABOUT? GROWING IN SCHOOLS WHERE THEY STRUGGLED BECAUSE THEY WERE DENIED FULL ACCESS TO ASL. SCHOOLS WHERE SIGNING WAS FORBIDDEN IN CLASS. SCHOOLS WHERE STUDENTS WERE PUNISHED FOR SIGNING. SCHOOLS WHERE DEAF CHILDREN GOT SLAPPED FOR NOT SAYING WORDS CORRECTLY.
My perspective is quite different. I was born deaf just like Nyle. Unlike Nyle, however, I was born into a hearing family and mainstreamed in public school. I don’t feel isolated at all because I can speak the predominant language of this country rather than being d

Susie

5/28/2016 03:06:17 am

Thank you for your beautiful comeback. I am only hearing in a family of six and I totally agree. My family loves being deaf,. I sometimes wish I was as well. 😀 This lady leads a very sad life. I feel sorry for her, she's missing out on a wonderful deaf culture and world that is out there.

5/28/2016 03:11:18 am

Melow Meldrew link

5/28/2016 03:56:13 am

I am a pro-oral, I’d much prefer lesser emphasis on ‘Hearing’, we aren’t at war or anything…. I tend to think all this ASL versus A G Bell is childish, and non-productive too. It looks like sign using deaf are deliberately seeking out battles to fight, instead of agreeing to differ and respecting the views of others, or just plain reading what isn’t there. Just because one area supports an oralist approach, (and certainly appears to have a fair amount of support for that), they should be respected on those grounds. Mutual respect engenders mutual acceptance, listening, respecting the A G Bell is meaning of “Excellence” in higher education teaching deaf and hoh child, it doesn’t have to be ‘Us’ versus ‘Them’

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