There was a video posted on Facebook that I thought was really interesting. It's called "A Deafblind Story: Teaching & Processing" It's in American Sign Language, but there's a written transcript in the Comments section for the "ASL-impaired" Heh.

I agree that I need more "processing time" to think and absorb new information, new experiences, and the like. Isn't it funny that the less "senses" we have, the more emotional involved and analytic we get?

Could it be because we're so tactile sensitive? We can get over-stimulated just on touch alone? A gentle rub on my arm can send chills and shocks up my arm and make the hair on the back of my neck stand up straight; patting my lower back feels like whip-cracks. I remember a time walking into the kitchen, feeling some heat on my arm, turned to the stove and thought I must have left a burner on, searched every dial but everything was off, then I realized it was from the 40 watt bulb in the hood above the stove, crazy eh?

 I grew up attending the Canadian National Institute for the Blind (CNIB) Summer Camp up at "Lake Joe" with other kids who were both blind and deafblind. I remember one instance on a daytrip to a petting zoo. There was another Deafblind boy who was dependent on tactile communication only. He went around and petted all the goats, miniature horses and sheep. About 20 minutes later he's sitting crosslegged and curled up in a corner of the park. I asked his intervenor if he was alright and he explained that after every new experience he completely shuts down so he can process everything. So the rule was leave him alone, otherwise he'd have a temper-tantrum at the over-stimulation.

Even when I'm chatting with Randy, he knows now that I don't respond right away because I'm still analyzing what he said. It was frustrating for him at first I bet because a "normal" conversation is back-n-forth....not a 30 second or 1 minute pause especially on emotionally sensitive subjects.

So I guess we as Deafblind people don't like to be rushed, disconnected, or swept aside.

Tracy,
"One finds limits by pushing them" ~ Herbert Simon  

I've been lipreading for as long as I can remember...

First a basic lesson in lipreading:

It's interpreting the movements of the lips, face, tongue and sometimes throat. Because of this, many letters are mixed up because they look identical on the lips but not hearing the voiced part, such as p & b, k & g, f & v, and so on. Because of this only about 30% to 40% of words are distinguishable by sight alone. 

So.....3 words out of a 10 word sentence....not much eh? That's on a GOOD day! I also use my remaining hearing to "fill in" a bit more...but not much. So you can imagine, it's pretty much a "guessing game" sometimes. If I know the topic, I'm able to follow along a lot easier.

Now on to a few complaints and tips of lipreaders:

* Keep stuff out of your mouth! No cigs, toothpicks, food, pens & pencils, etc!

* Do not move all over, put your hands up in front of your face, or turn away in the middle of a sentence.

* Men, keep your mustache trimmed to the top of your lip. No way I can lipread someone like Jamie Hyneman from Mythbusters!

* Men, if us ladies are trying to lipread you....we are NOT flirting!! We're looking at your lips to understand what you're saying....not trying to get your number or get you in bed *shudder*

* Do sit in a well lit area, preferably with the lipreader's back to a light source so your face is not shadowed.

* Don't call us liars! Just because we understood you clearly one day & the next we can't understand anything doesn't make us liars. Maybe the room's noisier, a difficult subject, difficulty concentrating, etc.

* Don't over-enunciate your words! Just speak normally and clearly. It's a Pet Peeve of ours when people start "oooooookaaaaay caaaaannn yooooooou..." Believe me I won't give you a chance to finish that sentence *glare*

* Do get our attention first! A gentle tap on the shoulder, a hand wave, small stomp on the floor or flick the light a few times if we're too far away. Don't throw stuff at us, poke us hard, or the Vulcan Death Grip!

* Don't ask us to lipread someone across the room, in a video or on TV! There's just too many variables to consider, the speakers nuances, language & accent, topic & content.

* Do "help" our understanding by gesturing, facial expressions and the like. Just try not to MIME out the whole movie you're trying to tell me about.

* Don't test our hearing! Don't cover your mouth and say something to see if we could in fact actually hear what you're saying! That's just damn rude! (Well unless you're an Audiologist...)

* Don't assume that all Deaf or Hard of Hearing people can lipread! Ask what's their preferred method of communication is first. Whether it's an interpreter, lipreading, writing back and forth, or even cellphone messages back and forth.

* Don't shout! It just morphs the words and doesn't make anything better!

* Don't imitate us, make fun of us, or correct us! Just because we don't hear the right pronunciation doesn't mean you can make fun of us, start giving us speech lessons or copy our "deaf voice". It's different when I'm with family....well 'cuz that's family LOL!

* Do remember that lipreading takes a lot of concentration and can be very tiring and cause eye-strain and headaches for the lipreader after long periods.

So I hope this helps when you meet a lipreader!

Tracy,
"One finds limits by pushing them" ~ Herbert Simon 

Watching the Winter Olympics reminded me of the time I took up Downhill Skiing.

I don't remember how it all started, maybe I saw an Ad somewhere, a newstory, or just the fact that my folks lived several miles from a Ski Lodge, but I started downhill ski lessons.

It wasn't any ordinary lessons, I was with a School that taught people with various disabilities. I had 2 instructors doing one-on-one with me. There were other students with their own instructors who used a Mono-Ski, or modified ski poles for balance, etc. I had the "standard" ski set with no modifications.

The lessons were mainly an instructor instructing me by lipreading what needs to be done, one instructor then went ahead and showed me, I followed close behind mimicking their moves, and the second instructor following behind to see if I was doing it right. At the bottom on the slope the second instructor would tell me corrections, etc. and everything would repeat, building up on skills and speed.

I took these lessons for, I think, 3 or 4 winters. I was zooming down black diamond hills by the end, speeding by sighted people. It was fun, exhilarating and liberating at the same time. I even broke my tailbone skiing once. I misjudged the distance to do a "hockey-stop" beside my instructor, and crash landed right on the side of my ski blade.

I don't know why I stopped, either because I was unemployed at the time and couldn't afford lessons, the interest faded, or I went on to something else. I won't be going skiing anytime soon, it's been over 20 years since I last strapped them on, then there's Oklahoma, with few hills and few snow Heh.

So don't be afraid to try something new! You didn't know a crazy Deafblind woman would be a ski bum eh?

Tracy,
"One finds limits by pushing them" ~ Herbert Simon 

This was one of my very first posts on my old site, it still applies today and still a good lesson to learn.

Being a person with two disabilities I've grown up with "gawkers". You know the type, people that just have to stop what they're doing and stare at you.

It's a fact of life for people with different disabilities. Whether you're Deaf, Blind, in a wheelchair, a little person, missing a limb, or have scars - you've lived with being stared at.

The majority of them are children, with their natural curosity for life, stare at people who are different and "new" to them. But because their parents hush them and turn them away from us, they learn that "being different" must be "Bad and Awful". So begins the cycle of ignorance which sometimes leads to discrimination.

Why do we "gawk"? It's a natural response to look closer at something that we've rarely seen that we'd want to "burn it to memory" in case we'd never see it again. Oh come on! Don't tell me you've never stared at another human being before! Ever stared at some heavily tattooed person with 200 piercings walking by? How about the "well endowed" woman on the beach in a skinny bikini? Ever grumbled about why the traffic is so slow up ahead, approach the scene of the accident, then slow down yourself so you can look at the car wreck yourself??

Come-on! We've all done it!

The difference is what do you do about it? If you're curious then just approach the person and ask questions, I know I'll appreciate the opportunity to "educate" someone than tolerating the "lost deer in headlights look". If the individual is comfortable "in their skin" (meaning they've accepted themselves as differently-abled), they'll be willing to share their life story with you. Then you'll leave with better understanding of different people who are woven into the fabric of life.

But there are some individuals who a) have not accepted themselves; and/or b) believe that their "problems" are everyone elses' except their own. Sad but true. They will lash out at anyone staring at them. What do we do with these people? Ignore them? Scream at them? No, we just need to be patient. These people are still working out their "inner demons", whether they're angry at their disability or angry at others for causing their disability (real or imagined).

All things considered, it still isn't polite to stare! ASK! We'll both come away learning something new.

Addition:
Don't forget to think your question through....or you'll end up in another edition of my "Are you THAT Clueless" blog post. :)

Tracy,
"One finds limits by pushing them" ~ Herbert Simon  

As you might know I'm a Guest Blogger over at Deaf Insght. I post every two weeks Sunday, I just posted my third post and am still without a Blog name.

In my second post I was trying to come up with names, one name I thought of was "In Between Worlds". Why did I think of this one? Because I feel that I'm stuck between the Deaf World and the Hearing World, participating in both, yet feel that I don't fit in either one.

In the Deaf world, I sometimes felt different. Not exactly an "outcast" because I was never shunned, I was welcomed in to an extent. Since English is my first language and I didn't learn ASL til I was 12, I still signed in "English Grammar". I also could not really follow the signing that quickly because of my low vision. There's been a few Deaf who were put out that I couldn't keep pace with them, but thanks to those Deaf who slowed down or changed their signing to accommodate me. But I was never part of a clique one way or another. Don't get me wrong, I had lots of friends and such, but when everyone's in their groups, I wander from group to group, chit-chatting and all. But when  there are group plans to head somewhere, I'm sometimes forgotten behind.

In the Hearing world, I can lipread well, speak well somewhat (you tell me, you've seen some of my videos), but pretty much on an one-on-one basis. If I'm with one person, I have no problems. The problems start when you throw in two or more people, first I'd have to find out who's talking (usually by that time, they're done speaking), sometimes I have to go over where they are (if sitting around a room), or I just sit and try and just concentrate on one person (which is like listening to only one side of a phone conversation). Then there's the occasional - "Sorry I missed that" "I'll tell you later", which pisses me off (and plenty of other Deaf people too). The awkward "what's so funny?" (explained what happened, but it's not so funny anymore "Guess ya had  to be there" I WAS there, right here! Or trying to find the right moment as not to interrupt anyone, start sharing my story, "oh we stopped talking about that ages ago". Again when plans are made, I'm forgotten behind.

Sometimes I try and figure out why I'm stuck in between worlds and not fitting in either, hey everyone self-analyzes once in a while eh? 

I know my low vision plays a role in both worlds, there are some Deaf who feel that Deafblind are not part of their world (I'll make another post someday on that), then there's the experience of some Hearing who've shown me that it's a bother to help me out.

Maybe it's a combination of being an introvert and my fear of "imposing" on people. The fear that people are put out and inconvienced if I ask for help, whether they're Deaf or not. I'm always ready early so the other party doesn't have to wait - they're doing a lot just going out of their way for me already. I've been scolded by Randy, "What time is your ride?" "Ten O'Clock" "It's only 9:15 and you've got your coat and watching the door? Sit Down and relax!" Irrational? Maybe, but I can't shake it.

Maybe I've declined one too many invitations that people have stopped bothering to ask? Maybe they assume too much "This bar will be too dark for Tracy, let's not ask her along".

Whatever the reasons or excuses, I'm here coasting along, enjoying my time in each world, however frustrating it seems. The "world" I'm most comfortable in has been the online world. Chat rooms, Twitter, Facebook, has been my quiet domain for years. I even met Randy in an online chat! Think about it, no one cares about me being Deafblind, I can keep up with everyone chatting, and I don't have to impose on anybody!

So keep your eyes out for a Coyote trotting along the web....

Tracy,
"One finds limits by pushing them" ~ Herbert Simon 

When Randy read my last post about my quote, he reminded me of the time I drove his pickup truck a few times.

The first time was when we were still dating and I was down visiting him. He was showing me around his hometown, old houses he lived in, the Sonic he worked at, then his old High School.

I don't remember how the topic came up or what was said, all I know the next thing I knew was we were in the abandoned High School parking lot (it was a holiday week), and Randy's telling me to switch places. So there I was, behind the wheel of this large GMC Sierra Extended Cab Pickup truck! I probably looked like Golum, rubbing the round steering wheel "my precious!" First Randy made sure I could see the lamp posts, I could see at least 4 of them in front along the left side, common sense would dictate there's more ahead at the same equal spacing. I described what else I could see, yellow lines marking spots, a brick wall further down, a fire hydrant surrounded by bars further down on the right. After that I was allowed to start, "Put your foot on the brake and start it up" Randy instructs. I did that. "Now shift into drive", he says. I peer through the wheel at the dashboard, "Uh, how many clicks down is Drive?" I respond. A look of "Oh shit what did I get into?" flashed across his face. "Three hun, three". I shifted down three times, Randy then says "ease off the brake and press the accelerator". I responded, we were rolling along at a slow pace. "Now very gently, tap on the brake". I didn't know how gentle he meant, and thinking it's a big truck it's goiing to need big control. I pressed down on the brake. Well it wasn't gentle enough, Randy ended up smushed in the windshield and poor Jetta was thrown off his seat in the back.

After everyone was settled back in, I was allowed to go ahead and drive around a bit. I drove around in a large oval, going a bit faster each lap, did a figure eight around some light poles and then when I got my fill, I slowed down and took my foot off the gas. "There! That was fun", unbeknownst to me, we were still slowly cruising. I've driven snowmobiles, go-karts and golf carts, all I knew was if you took your foot off the accelerator it stopped! We were slowly coasting towards the brick wall, Randy starts hollering "BRAKE! BRAKE!" "I did, the foot's off the gas" "No! Step on the brake!" Again Randy's in the windshield and Jetta's on the floor.

Over the years I've driven that pickup a few more times, in abandoned dirt lots. Getting bolder each time, going faster and faster, and doing donuts with dirt flying everywhere. Randy's hanging on going "Geezus Woman!". 

We've since had kids, traded in that old pickup, and moved on.

I don't have a bucket list, see no sense in keeping one, but THAT was one thing I enjoyed and can look back on with fondness. Do I miss doing it, not really, but I think Randy thinks I do, cuz sometimes I tell him how to drive Heh.

Tracy,
"One finds limits by pushing them" ~ Herbert Simon